Cletus' Car Corner

BOY Howdy has it been a long summer!

2006-08-31T07:08:00.000-07:00

Hey, Luther here. I can not speak for Cletus but I know I hve been covered up with work so that is why there is not been to much done here at the Car Corner. BUT we do have a nice letter that has come to us from a Mrs. J. Gore of Vidalia, Louisiana, who askes us this--

Okay, fellas.

How do you paint a bumper again? Mine has a bruise where I rubbed against another car.

The car is a '97 Ford Escort, silver color, silver bumper.

Best regards,

Janis Gore

Paint and bodywork is not one of my specalties but I have never let that stop me from handing out free advice.

Mrs. Gore has a car with a plastic bumper and they can be difficult to fix exactly right, but you can get them to looking better than having a big ugly scratch on them.

First step is to see how much of the other cars' paint you can wipe off. Sometimes it looks worse than it is and until you get off the other paint, you really don't know. After you've rubbed with a rag, then take something like mineral spirits and see if you can get anything else off, again with the idea of not having to paint any more than you need to.

After you have gotten as much of the other paint off, see how bad the scuff or scrape really is. If it left some deep scratches, you might want to consider using a bit of body filler to even it out some. If it's more or less smooth, the thing to do is start your prep work.

First, call your local Ford dealer and get a spray can of bumper paint to match your car's color. Silver is a bear to try to get to looking right because it just is, so your best bet starting off is to find something as close a match as you possible can. The car parts places sell bumper paint, too, but it never turns out being the exact color and you wind up with something that lookes like a hammered turd. Pardon my languge. If you can't get Ford matching paint, you will have to make do with what you can find at the parts place, but start with the dealer first.

NEXT, after you have run all over town finding some silver paint made for plastic bumpers, it is time to do a bit of sanding. Take some very fine grit sandpaper--no corser than 400 grit, and wrap it around a small block of wood or plastic to make a sanding block. This will help keep you from making gouges int he bumper. Lightly scuff the area right at the bad place on the bumper until you have a nice smooth finish that sort of feathers off into the good paint. Do not go wild and try to get too much paint off. Expecially again with clearcoat silver paint, the more you mess with it, the worse off you are. just do the least amount of sanding you can do.

Mask off an area around where you've been sanding that will allow you to spray the scratch and a bit of the area around it. Make sure you cover up the headlights and other stuff you don't want paint on.

Wipe down the unmasked area with some good quality degreaser and wax remover that you can get at the parts store. This is important because anything like polish or fingreprints or dirt or anything like that can cause the paint not to stick. Again, with silver, it's easy to make a mess.

Make sure the car is in a shady area, that the humidity is not too high, that you are not near a nest full of gnats, that no one is cutting grass,and that no wind is blowing for the next step, because if any of that mess is going on, you will have a spray paint spot on your bumper full of gnats and grass and weird swrily marks and paint bubbles and pinprick holes and a mess.

Shake the can up for all your worth and apply it to the bumper as it says to on the instructions on the label on the can. Do not slather on a big wet coat of paint--do a very fine thin layer and let it dry before hitting it again, and once more, do not paint way too far out beyond the original scratch--you just want the paint to fade out to the undamaged part of the paint so you won't ahve a noticable line between the new and the old paint.

After you have about four or so very thin coats, you should be able to tell if the repair is going to look right. If it's making a mess, you can always go back after it's really dry and sand a bit more on it to get out the mistake. But try not to do that more than about once. Otherwise it'll look like a mess.

On that last coat of color, if everything looks okay, you can do a bit of very fine sanding with some 800 grit (or 1000 even) paper using only the lightest touch, and then if you have some, apply a final coat of clear over it all. Again, not a lot, just enough to seal in the color coat you've put on.

Now, this is for a spot repair of something that's not deep or bent or anything else, and even then, you might still be able to spot the work you've done. Silver is hard to match and new paint and old paint EVEN IF THEY"RE THE SAME PAINT COLOR NUMBER can look different due to the fact that the old paint may have faded. If you want a completely invisible repair, the only way to do that is to make sure you have the entire bumper refinished, which is obviously real expensive. If you don't mind a slight imperfection, you can do a serviceable job yourself, but remember to do as much preperation work ahead of time to get the best out of it.

Now then, I wonder if Cletus or Tie-Rod has anything to add to all that?

UPDATED: Mrs. Gore sends along a photgraph of her bumper for us to review--

After actual looking at it, I think we're on the right track with our advice. There is not no dent in the plastic--sometimes they'l dent in and you can't get them pushed back out right, or they will split. So, that's good.

The next thing is that there is a wider area that looks to have gotten scuffed up. Some of those light marks might actually buff out with some polishing compound. I would see if that worked before starting in on sanding it. Use a good quality product and a new cloth and see how much will come out.

The big dark marks, though, are the ones that will take some work. Try to get as much off with mineral spirits first.

The only difference in sanding I think would be to use a soft block instead of a hard one since you'r working on an outside curving surface. A foam block would be easier to use and would not come as close as a hard one of leaving flat spots.

Let us know how it turns out Msr. Gore!

Magic Beans

2006-04-25T06:14:00.000-07:00

Hey--Luther here. I have been noticing that just like the flowers that come up in the cow pies, the recent hikes in gas prices has meant that people selling magical cures for poor gas milage are popping up all over the place.

Just a word of advice from an old mechanic--don't waste your money. There is all kinds of pills, potions, doodads, add-ons, cheaters and egg beaters that people will sell to you with big promises of high milage. In almost every single instance, this mess is just a bunch of junk to hoodwink you into parting with your hard-earned dollars. And even for the stuff that might actually work, the effects on your gas bill are not going to be big, and sometimes won't even be big enough to offset the price you add for whatever you've gone and bought.

Easiest way to save gas? Slow down some. Even if the speed limit is 70, you don't HAVE to drive quite so fast. Next big thing is to make sure your tires is aired up to the right amount, and that they are aired up equal on all sides. Next, take out any extra weight you're carrying around. Some Yankees carry a bag of sand with them for if they get stuck in snow--if you are through with wintertime where you live, go ahead and take that fifty pound of sand out of your trunk and leave it in the garage. Likewise with anything else you might be toting around that you don't really need. If you do these three littel FREE things, you can reduce your consumption a lot--in some cases up to 10%.

For stuff that costes money, the best thing to do is take your car in for a good tune up--make sure the plugs are clean, make sure the feul injecters or your carburator are clean, make sure the plug wires are good. A poor running engine can eat up gas, so make sure yours is running right.

Other things to consider--since it is getting to be the hot season, some folks want to know about running the air conditioning. this is a hot topic around here at the garage (so to speak), and the fact is that this really depends on the type of car you drive. Some older cars can do slightly better using teh ol reliable 460 airconditioning--that is rolling all four windows down and driving 60 mile an hour. But for most new cars, they are designed in wind tunnels and rolling down the windows can make them spend more gas overcoming wind resistance than they might use if you just kept the windows up and used the air conditioner. This is one you have to experiment a bit with to see what works bests for you.

In case you don't want to take the advise of someone like me (because your stuck up or snooty or something), you can always check out the United States Government's Federal Trade Commission web site that has all the tips above, plus even more information about the types of garbage they've tested that don't work, and some stuff that works a little bit.

So there you go, and remember, Caveat Emptor, which is Latin for "don't get suckered."

We ain't dead!

2006-03-13T08:55:00.000-08:00

Hey, Luther here.

It is just been the busy season what with all the hunters getting there trucks fixed for hunting and fishing and such like, so we have been some what quite of late. HOWEVER, we do have a question that came through the question e-mail system of ours, and since Cletus did not see it, I grabbed it first and will answer it.

Dear Cletus,

My 86-year-old father-in-law treated himself to a brand new loaded Buick LeSabre and bequeathed to us his 1988 gold Buick Park Avenue.

The old car only has 70,000 miles on it and runs like a top. The body is in excellent condition for its age, but, sir, the paint job is just as faded and miscolored as you can imagine.

The local body shop will paint it for about $1000, but that seems high for the value of the car, which we intend to keep.

Do you have suggestions for an alternative?

Thank you.

Janis Gore

I will ignor the slight that only Cletus is the one who got named in the e-mail, agian, since I was the first one to get it. That's what he gets for being so slow. Any way, that is a very good question.

What Mrs. Gore and her husband has found out is that it does not matter how much a car is worth when you go to paint it. You might not want to put a lot of money into it, but painting requires preparation and work and that stuff cost money no matter if the car is 20 years old or brand new.

If you intend to keep the car, it is worth it to go ahead and put some money into paint. I know not everyone beleives that, but I think of it as maintananance just like anything else--if you change the oil regularly, it adds up to a bunch after a while. Paint you only change once, and it might seem to be a big hit all of the sudden, if you figure out how long you have had it, and avrage it out, it's really not so bad. And it just looks better to have it painted.

The only question is how to get it painted. Some of the high volume shops charge a lot, but they don't do a very good job of prepparation and the paint never really looks nice. YOu can waste a lot of money in an hurry with the spray-and-pray shops, and still wind up with and inferior paint job.

A local company who is been in business for a long time is a good bet--ask around and see who does good work in your area. If it still seems just too much to pay, check with your local vocational school's auto repair program. Many schools will allow there students to do work for customers to learn how. The only drawback is that it might look like high schoolers did it, but if the price is right and all you need is a nice glossy paint, it's probably about as good as letting some high-flow place do it.

As for color, gold is real hard to keep nice because it fades so easy. I would go ahead and pay extra for clear coat or better yet, integral clear coat. It helps the color last a bit longer. And GM cars of this year don't have great paint to start with--if I recall right, it was a water-born paint that didn't hold up well and tended to pull off in big sheets (General MOtors had a big recall on this, and there are still some class-action law suits ongoing that might be worth looking into--there might still be be some time to do something about it)--but anyway be sure whoever does it makes sure the surface is sanded and sealed proper for the new paint, or it could have problems later on.

HOpe this helps.

Braindead and Other Oddities

2006-01-10T11:05:00.000-08:00

I tried to log on to post and discovered that I couldn't remember the name or password I use. I had to call Luther and ask him. I'll never hear the last of that. I can just hear the comments about getting old and forgetful.

The reason for the post is I checked our email aand we have arrived in the larger Internet world. We received a letter from Nigeria offering us millions in misplaced funds. I read the missive carefully just in case there was an automotive or philosophy related question not wanting to miss the chance to help out a Nigerian as much as I could. Alas, there were no such questions.

Leaking Carb

2006-01-04T08:52:00.000-08:00

I got a pretty interesting question this morning from one of the rocket scientists. Seems the carburetor on his 1962 Falcon is leaking and someone told him to use epoxy to fix it. I told him that fixing it was a right good idea, but I wasn't sure about epoxy.

He is restoring the Falcon and is up to about $7000 so far and from what I remember, Falcons had a bad habit of catching on fire from gas leaks. I would either fix the leak or get a new carb.

$7000 on a Falcon?

Luther here--I seem to recall a certain person who had a brand new Falcon and the door come off of it. Anyway, what I dont understand is why people spend so much moeny on stuff like this old Falcon, and then bawk at buying something to fix it thats not all tore up. Why try to glue the carb when you can just go get one--if he's spent that much, he could get a brand new old stock carb and not really be out that much more. Or get something from a junk yard that ain't cracked. People are strange.

Merry Christmas

2005-12-23T07:41:00.000-08:00

Luther here--I just wanted to say to all of you church people who drop by to have you a merry Christmas, and for the Jewish folks to have a merry Hannikah. To Mr. Riperty, I am sorry, but the main bering set we ordered for your Fiat is the wrong one and we'll have to get them to send us another one so it should only be another couple of months. To Ricky at the county maintinennce department, I wish yall would fix this hole out in front of the shop. To Miss Inez, thank you for the friut cake it is very good. To Tie Rod, I hope you have a merry Christmas, and a happy new Year, too, and I wuouldn't let that place on your hand where you hit it with the plyers get infected. To Cletus, thank you for letting me dispinse car advise on here with you and have a MErry Chrismas and I hope you like the friut cake I got you and I'am sorry there is a peice missing.

I Come From Alabama With a Banjo Housing on my Knee

2005-12-13T12:55:00.000-08:00

Luther here--it looks like our newfangeled e-mail question line is working now. We got this question a coupel of days back and now that we got rid of that problem with that Puegot we had in here, we have some time to answer back. Here goes:

Hey Cletus..er Luther either..... I have a old studebaker that has a crack in the banjo head rear end, and it won't hold much grease at a time. I drive it about ten miles, it seizes up and I stop and fill the rear end again. I have tried to find another one to replace it (rear end not the car) an I can't find one any where. I have tried silver solder... black tar and even chewin gum but when the stuff gets hot it falls out. What can I plug that thing with. I have thought about shootin' it but it ain't a horse. I wish it was so I could. Mason D www.linesbymasondixon.blogspot.com

I guess everyone has a blog now.

Anyways, I think if your loosing that much oil out of the rear end, you have got a bigger problem than any crack. You might be seeing a crack and filling it up with stuff, but if you loose a whole diff's worth of fluid every few miles, youv'e got a bigger leak somewhere else that you CAIN'T see.

Second part of the problem is that you have to reweld any cracks you find, and not with JB Weld, but with real welding. It is never a good idea to fix any sort of driveline or suspension cracks yourself--take it to a reputable axel shop and let them do it right.

Finaly, I will despute with you about not being able to find the right rear end for it. We don't make no money from advertising for E-Bay Motors, but I tell you right now, it is just about the best place to find obsilete car parts, right after Hemmings. If you search on Studebaker, you get a lot of results, and even if someone doesn't have an axle right off, it pays to check every so often until you find one, or find a parts car. Also, be sure to check your Hollander book--there are probaly several differant housings that could interchange with yours, and junkyards have gotten all high tech to day too and can get stuff pretty quick.

Finally, remember that there are allways all kinds of people who specielize in old car parts--one good place for Studabeker parts is Studebaker International, and another is Stephen Allen's Studebaker place, which does have several different varietys of chunks for you to look at. (And again, thay haven't payed us to give their names.)

So to rap up--don't drive it until you get it fixed or replaced, and don't give up on finding a replacment housing.

Cletus here: Luther got that one pretty good. As far as philosophy goes, I think this fall is the category of doing what is necessary to fix it even if it means using a Chevy rearend. I know that is practically Satan worship but you gotta do what you gotta do.

Job Too Hard For Us

2005-11-30T10:41:00.000-08:00

Cletus here:

A feller came in and asked if we would change out the front axle housing and the rear ring and pinion on his Jeep. Seems he put real big tires and wheels on it and now can't drive in 5th gear because the effective gearing is too high. It turns only about 1000 RPM at 60 mph. Like I said, real big tires.

Well, I had to tell him that I couldn't do the job because I specialize in air filter replacement and leave the heavy jobs to Luther. Luther was too busy doing whatever he does and Tierod said it didn't look like a tractor or any other kind of farm equipment so he couldn't so it. The feller was heartbroken but perked up when we offered to tell him how to do it.

First, jack the thing up and look it over real good so that you have a good sense of where everything goes. Think real hard about taking it to a mechanic.

Remove the front axle. That will involve unbolting a bunch of stuff such as tierods, springs, brakelines and the drive shaft. Think real hard about taking it to a mechanic.

Install new axle in the reverse order of removal. It might be handy to draw a picture of where things go. Yep, think about.....

Take rear drive axles out of axle housing. Remove rear drive shaft. Take back off rear differential (that big roundish thing in the middle). Remove ring and pinion. Install new ring and pinion. Measure all kinds of ways and install correct spacers to align the ring and pinion. Replace things you removed to get to this point.

Bleed brakes.

Unjack it.

Test drive real carefully!

Repeat as necessary.

Philosophy for the Day: Leave well enough alone.

Luther here--I wasn't busy, I just think this is a bad idea and don't want to get mixed up in it. I look at it like this--if you done something to mess up the way something works, go back and take that thing away and go back to the way it was before. If you just have GOT to have them big old rumble tires, don't worry about driving in 5th gear in the first place--just leave it in 4th and be done with it and don't go messing up something else to lower the gear ratio back down. Thrid, why in the world don't you get a trailer and towe the thing to where ever it is you are trying to go mud boggin or whatever?

Now, I can do axles and stuff, but it will cost you a lot of money, and the thing is still going to be busy as a haint on Halloween to drive on the public roads--loud, lots of gear whine, hard to hold steady, and ready to flip over the moment you run over a animal. Cletus is a smart man--listen to him.

Questions?

2005-11-29T09:21:00.000-08:00

Cletus and Luther and Tie-Rod were somewhat baffled by the fact that they seem to not be getting a lot of questions, until it was pointed out by a Mr. Nate McCord of Utah that there seemed to be no e-mail address listed on the site.

Not wishing to seem backward, they realized they needed some assistance in this department and asked that I help them set up an address for questions.

That address will be carcornerquestions@yahoo.com.

Now then, all of you please be sure to ask them a question or they will get lonely and dejected!

Music Advice

2005-11-17T13:53:00.000-08:00

Dear Cletus,

I have always wanted to be a country music singer but I have only a half octave range. Do you have any suggestions as to how I can expand my range?

Woeful in Huntsville

Dear Woeful,

You could do a Johnny Cash and make your woeful range an asset by picking just the right songs, but I have to say that this is a Blog devoted to car advice so I guess I have to tell you that maybe your musical talent lies in listening. Might I suggest a good Hank Williams CD?

Cletus

Philosophy for Thursday: Stick to to who you are.

What Car to Buy

2005-11-15T12:43:00.000-08:00

As big time automotive journalists, we get often get asked (at least twice now) what cars we recommend for those not so fortunate to own a classic F250. Most recently, we have been asked what a friend should buy to replace her Chevy Cavalier that has 290,000 miles on the old odometer. Well that is a real difficult thing since:

1. I don't believe there is any such thing as a Cavalier with 290,000 on the odometer unless she puts it on blocks at night and lets it run up miles.

2. What could possibly replace a Cavalier?

3. The woman drives like a total maniac so there is a good chance she got killed years ago in a big smash up and the question is just a figment of my imagination.

Since she at least thinks the car has run up a lot of miles, I suppose I should try to answer her question.

Keep the Cavalier. It is obviously an enchanted car and may last forever. If that is not possible, may I be so bold as to suggest a small Suzuki, Kia or Hyundai? All have good long warranties and good prices for well equiped cars.

Another possibility is an F250 down at Bud's Wrecking Yard that is in pretty good condition and it only has 200,000 miles showing.

Luther here--I think you are exactly right. Especially the first part about keeping that Cavalier. She must of found the one they built right, because I'm surprised it's not a pile of parts by now. I would drive that thing until it abosulutely fell apart on the road and wouldn't go no more, then sell it for scrap. Then, like you say, one of those toaster cars would be great. Good enough quality, long warrantee, and actually not bad cars for something that's about like an applience. I actually kinda like that Suzuki Verona, because it has a straight six, just like the Travelall had. A Huyndai would be good, to, because my cousin Ernest works at their new plant in Montgomery. He's real handy.

This post needs some philosophy to be at its best.

Cletus Here: I bolded the philosophy up above there. Although it is not up to our usual high philosophical standards, it is still pretty good.

Battery Replacement

2005-11-10T08:06:00.000-08:00

We received this question that I think may be useful to both our readers.

Fellers,

My car is about 5 years old and has been a little slow starting in the morning. I have noticed that the statrter seems to turn a little slower when it the weather is cool. Should I just go ahead and replace the battery before it gets colder?

Thanks,

Fred

That's a pretty good question don't you think? If you have ever read any of Billy Joe Bob's descriptions of me, my answer may surprise you, but I would go on and replace the battery now. Most of auto parts stores have a battery tester and I'd take the car down and have them test out the battery. Five years seems to be about when most batteries start to get a little weak and there is nothing fun about your car not starting on cold mornings or late evenings when no one else is around. I look at it as fairly cheap insurance.

Car Value

2005-11-06T17:37:00.000-08:00

A feller came up to me today and said he has been lying awake nights worrying since filling up his car a couple of weeks ago and then realizing that he had doubled its value. Now he is afraid to drive it because a wreck, which he used to not worry much about, could cause a serious reduction in his portfolio if the gas tank were to be ruptured.

This is something many of us are facing these days. Recently, The value of the old F250 is more and more in the gas tank although I estimate that no more than10% of the value is directly attributable to gasoline since I have recently installed a couple of almost new mud and snows on the rear.

I told the feller that people take different approaches to the problem. Some (who will be unnamed) carpool with their spouse. Me, I try to hitch rides with BJB and Bubba as much as possible.

Luther here--I have been thinking of installing a wood burner in the bed of my truck and a boiler and running a steam line to a turbocharger I got off a Cummins and hooking the shaft of the turbocharger to a generater and use that to charge batterys and use the batterys to run a big electric motor I got from the conveyer plant when it shut down that would be hooked up to my transmission. Its part of that new hybred technolagy that the big manufacturers are doing, except I can cut my own fuel.

My reason for being here

2005-11-02T12:42:00.000-08:00

Cletus and Luther invited me to join in on this blog thing because that Georgia boy jumped in asking silly questions about some German tractor he bought in Alabama. My guess is that his elevator don't go all the way to the top floor if you know what I mean. Evidently he thought since they're from Alabama and the tractor came from there that they'd be able to hep' him. It appears like they give him some good advice, but personally I think he didn't have no business buying a thirtyfive year old tractor that they ain't no dealer support for in the first place. The best thing he can do is hang a For Sale sign on it and park it by the road and go find himself a good Farmall M.

Anyway. the boys invited me to stick my two cents in to answer foolish questions from sodbusters and would-be sodbusters. I hope they don't care about me putting my nose in on some of these here other subjects that they talk about.

How to Hide Things From Your Spouse

2005-11-02T06:27:00.000-08:00

I was over reading Possumblog this morning and noticed that Mr. Oglesby has a little problem with some fancy Volvo wheels what done showed up unexplained like on his doorstep. This is the very kind of problem that the old Car Corner was set up to help with.

One way to handle this problem is to just ask out loud where your loved one can hear: "I wonder where those came from?"

Or I have found that it works real good to quietly suugest that the offending article has been in the truck of the Moron Project since it was brought home and now need to be taken out because it is taking extra gas to haul them around. Take my word for it, she ain't never looked.

Note that I haven't said that one should lie, just provide creative misinformation.

I have found that the non-Moron partner doesn't pay a lot of attention to the Project which allows a lot of room for error before being called out.

Daily Philosophical Note: What they don't know won't hurt you, usually.

TieRod here. What I don't understand is why he don't just put them wheels on his car before he gits home from work and not even mention it. Cletus is right, womenfolks don't notice things like that. It might be years and by then, he'll have plumb forgotten that they ain't the original wheels anyway.

Proper Way to Lock Key in Car

2005-11-01T06:35:00.000-08:00

I had a feller ask about the proper way to lock one's keys in the car. I can't say that there is a "proper" way, but you do get style points if you are miles from nowhere with no way to call anyone to help.

That, of course, leads to the question of how to get in the car after you lock your keys in. With the old F250, I don't have much trouble seeing as the sliding rear window latch is pretty much for decoration but you folks with the exotic vehicles, such as Terry Oglesby's Volvo, may not have the luxury of just reaching through the rear window. For those I suggest a "Slim Jim" or a coat hanger. Of course, if you have a Slim Jim handy, you probably have second set of keys or are smart enough to not lock your keys in the car to begin with.

A quick alternative to the Slim Jim/coathanger solution is a rock through a window. If you choose that option, I suggest some nice heavy plastic and duct tape to close the hole.

Philosophy for the Day: "If it can go wrong, it will!" Some Irishman

Luther here--I realize I have had some run in's with John Law, but I will say that they have always been real helpful about helping me open my doors before. Despite what Cletus might say, I am not really a brute and will not go bust out a window just to get in teh car unless theyre ain't no other way. And that's good because I tend to be real forgetful and have locked my keys in about eleventy hundred times. Worst time was when I got locked in with them. (That was a joke. I know how to get out just fine.) But our police men around here are very patient and will generally come by and pop the lock open, especially if you are a woman, which I am not, but I always get my wife to call them for me. I finally got tired of bothering them and bought my own Slim Jim that I keep in the trunk. (That is a joke too. I keep it in my wifes' car.)

Tie-Rod here--That's why I allus keep me a hammer in the bed o' my truck. Cletus mentioned duct tape to fix thangs up ifn' you use the rock method. Now, I dunno if ya'll ever thought of this before, but if you do that once you do that once, all you gotta have to git in your truck after that is a pocket knife, which everbody oughta have in they pocket 'long with they car keys.

A sum'at less destructive method is a great long flathead screwdriver, but that only works if you got an older vehicle with vent winders. You kin prise them open with a screwdriver without too turribly much damage.

Mrs. X's Warm-Up

2005-10-27T08:27:00.000-07:00

Luther here--I had a woman ask me (and she don't know I'm using her question for this, so I'm not going to say what her name is in case she don't want me to use her name in this) but anyway she asked me to settle a bet between her and her smart mouthed 16 year old son about warming up the car.

She says her husband always told her when it was cold like it is this morning not to drive the car until she had cranked it and it had run some to warm up the oil and stuff. When it was warm, he would let her leave in it.

Her smart mouthed son tells her as long as she's not racing the engine, she can just get in and go and not worry about warm up.

I told her it was a little of both--when it's real cold like it was this morning, below 40 degrees or so, you can start it and pretty much be ready to go right then, but only as long as you are just driving slow with your foot off the gas, like in a nice subdivision that's got slow speed limits. Because if it's real cold, the oil has to get warm to be able to get to all the stuff it's supposed to oil, and if you go off and run it up real fast like you're pulling out in front of a log truck or something, it can scuff up things inside the engine really bad.

As long as you can let it roll along and go only about as fast as the engine idle will take it, until it does warm up a touch--maybe a half-mile or so--it's okay to go. But if you live on a busy street or road, where you might have to do some serious speeding-up right off the bat, it's better to let it set in the driveway and warm up a bit, maybe about five minutes.

When gas gets high like it is, you're wasting a lot of gas if you let the thing sit there for twenty minutes idling while you eat breakfast and have your coffee. I know some people like to get the inside hot before they get in so they aren't cold. I say you should act like an adult and put on a coat and not be a baby thinking you have to go right from the fireplace out to the car and not be a little bit cold. My daddy lived in a foxhole in France for a year one winter, and he never complained about nothing. Of course, if you're rich and all and can afford it, well, it's your money. If you want, I'll hire out to come around and crank your car for you. Then again, if you are rich, you probably park inside.

Anyway, so really, I didn't settle her bet, but I told Mrs. X to ground her boy for being a smart mouth anyway.

Cletus, do you have anything to add?

Cletus here: I kind of disagree with Luther. Unless you live in Alaska or upstate New York, the lubricants used today don't require warming up. That's what that 5-30 stuff means on the side of the oil bottle. The oil acts like a 5 weight at the cold end and like a 30 weight on the hot end so warming the thing up is just a waste of gas. I don't think you need to baby the car anymore than you normally would (I can't believe that any of you ever drive other than as if you had an egg between your foot and the accelerator). On those days when it is a cold enough for the car to pop and creak when you drive off, drive a little easier. Hey, I never said I was consistent. On the really cold days (below freezing) I drive more carefully because ice is slick.

Yeah and ground the kid. Let him be a smart mouth now and he'll grow up to be like my brother Bubba.

Dave's Tractor

2005-10-26T10:59:00.000-07:00

I got to thinking about Dave's tractor problem and think we missed something in yesterday's diagnosis. Dave mentioned in a comment that it will start if you hit it with two batteries. I think he needs to look se if the battery on the tractor is the right capacity. Diesels need some serious amperage to kick them off and a regular battery generally can't handle it.

Also I wonder if there is a mixture setting on the fuel injection that he might turn ot cut back the fuel mixture a bit.

Philosophical Note inspired by Mr. Possum's suckup co-worker: Remember the Law of Unintended Consequences.

Dave's 60-06 Deutz

2005-10-25T12:47:00.000-07:00

Luther here--there is a feller down below in the commentary who wants to know about a tractor. I don't know anything about tractors, so I will answer the question. Which is:

actually I was going to ask for help with my 60-06 Deutz, seeing as how it's German and ya'll seem to know a lot about German engineering.
# posted by Dave : 10:18 AM

Have you hit it with a hammer yet, Dave? That is what I always do first.

And Jay, your answer is up in the post above--thanks for asking.
# posted by Luther : 10:20 AM

Dave,

It'n that a Porsche tractor? If it is, I figure some nice mag wheels would go far to helping with your problem whatever it is.
# posted by Cletus : 10:25 AM

Nope, it's not a Porsche, but it does have an air-cooled diesel engine that I am told is somewhat similiar to the engines what was in the Volkswagen Rabbits.

I can't get it crunk with the switch... either have to roll it off or use a hit of ether and a wrench to jump it at the solenoid.

Since I bought it over the other side of Stevenson I'm wondering if it lived in Alabama too long is whats wrong with it?

I don't know nothing about tractors, or diesels. So, I say the starter relay's getting bad. If it'll crank when you jump directly to the solenoid, but it's weak the other times, I say it's not getting enough current to make the starter go fast enough to get past the compression on the engine. You're obviously getting fuel, cause after it starts, it goes. The starter itself is good, because you can use it to start the thing after you go poking around where you shouldn't. The only other thing is the line from the switch to the starter relay, or the starter relay, or the line from the relay to the solenoid.

All this assumes it's got a relay.

Cletus, what do you think?

Cletus here: The bit about needing ether kind of bothers me. If it won't start without ether, it sounds as if it may have low compression. Rolling or pulling it would tend to overcome nominally low compression with some extra starting rpm.

I agree with Luther that the starter relay may be bad. Most parts stores sell a cheap ($5-$10) starter relay for Ford type starters. They need a circuit closer such as a key ignition or button to activate. Actually, the first thing to check would be to see if you are getting current to the starter (or starter relay) when whatever activates it is turned or pushed.

Philosophy for this Post: Wisecracks about Alabama (the State, not the University) are not necessarily a sign of intelligence.

Jay's '74 Ranchero

2005-10-25T10:16:00.000-07:00

Hey--Luther here. I still don't know how to do this computer mess, so I asked one of them other guys to help me get this on here. (Update--I done figured it out now. Thanks guys.)

Down below, a feller asks:

Alright, I'll bite.

Question: My '74 Ranchero ran fine when I last drove it, which has been over a year now. I want to get it back on the road; what will I need to do to make it roadworthy after so much idle time?

Jay in MO

Well, Jay, I might be stepping on Cletus here, because I can't find him. I think he's outside tinkering on his Mercedes.

Leaving a car set for a year can be harmless, or not. If it was cranked regularly, and maybe driven a few miles every week, no harm was probably done. But gasoline leaves all kinds of gummy stuff when it evaporates, and it can clog up the carburetor, fuel lines, gas tank, and everything else. Also, if the tank wasn't full, you might have started a nice colony of rust up inside the upper portions of the tank from the water vapor in there. So that's one potential problem.

Another is the electrical system--that battery that cranked so good back last October might be all out of juice by now.

Third thing--critters. Anything that doesn't move or make noise can quickly become home for all kinds of varmints.

So, first thing, open up the hood and see if there's anything done made a nest in there. Clear out any leaves or trash from the cowl vents, and do a good look-around to see if you see anything broken or frayed. Get in and see if there's any power to the accessories and such--there might be enough battery left to get it cranked.

Then give it a crank and see if it fires. It will probably take a squish or two of the gas pedal. If it cranks right up, let it run a while and warm up, and go back over the motor while it runs to see if you see any leaks around the water pump, radiator, hoses, vessels, veins, and other carriers of vital essences. It also might clatter a good bit right off, because the valve lifters might will have leaked down over the year.

After several minutes, if everything quiets down and it idles okay, get in, put on the brakes, and make sure you have some pedal. If you do, move the gear shift back and forth through all the gears. I'm assuming it's an automatic, here--a manual shouldn't be any trouble after setting up unless it's been a LONG time. If you can feel the truck move against the brakes, it's probably going to be able to roll a bit.

Start off with a slow trip around the block or up the road a piece and see if everthing still feels connected--power steering, brakes, transmission. If if feels more or less like it did before, get some good quality gasoline treatment and a full tank of gas, and then drive carefully for the first few miles or so just to make sure everything still sounds and acts like it should.

If you have any trouble or feel like something's not right, take it to your mechanic for a good look.

Now, let me see if Cletus has come back in yet.

Cletus here: I appreciate Luther jumping in here and helping out but I think he missed a couple of things. Me, when the old F250 sits up for a while, I check all the fluids, take a look at the belts and hoses and do a general look around before turning anything over. I have found that a battery will usually take a charge unless it has been sitting a really long time, so I would try a slow charge before doing much else. I like to use a trickle charge here over about 12 hours.

Plan on changing the oil once it warms up. Changing it cold will leave a lot of junk in the engine.

I like to change all my belts and hoses every 60-80000 miles so if the Ranchero hasn't gotten new ones in a while, I'd invest a few dollars there.

Luther is right about the critter but he didn't mention the aircleaner housing. Be sure to check that because the old Windsor won't like the mice it injects. Don't know about Missou, here in Alabama, dirt daubers really like the inside of aircleaners.

Oh and brakes! Be real careful when you first start out. The wheel cylinders may not be up to snuff after sitting a while. I would also expect to change the brake fluid because it will have alot of water in it by now.

Luther here again: You know what we forgot, Cletus? We forgot to tell him to make sure his tires ain't flat. Air up your tires to the proper pressure before you go joyriding. And make sure your lights and signals is working. And also, make sure your car tag is current. No use getting pulled over by John Law for something stupid.

Best of luck and let us know how it turns out.

Cletus here--I noticed that this post was missing the dose of Philosophy so here goes: If it ain't broke don't fix it and when you fix it be real careful about using it.

Moron Projects

2005-10-25T06:45:00.000-07:00

Mr. Possum http://possumblog.mu.nu/ (I really do need to learn how to make those links in Blogger) has entered into the advanced stages of a Moron Project characterized by the idea that he will actually have something of value when he finishes the project. This is a corollary of the old car collector syndrome where in the "collector" finds an old car (likely built prior to the birth of said collector) and buys it because it must be valuable because "they don't make them anymore". Since automotive based Moron Projects are usually started by men, this typically means coming up with a good story to tell the wife. My personal favorite is: "It will hold its value and I can drive it to work for the rest of my working life." Hah! Unless there is a backup car, the wife will be dropping off the Moron at work for years as various parts fall off and the weather is too bad to fix the "project" on weekends.

I think I'm going to like having my own blog. I get to be the editor, typist and everything.

Thought for the Day: Man, I hope I get a reader soon.

On My Own

2005-10-24T17:33:00.000-07:00

Well, it's been a long time coming but I finally started my own blog. Seeing as I am as at least as good a mechanic as those NPR guys, if not as rich, I decided that this would be the Internet equivalent. This is how it works. You write me your car related questions and using the crack research team down at the BBQ Emporium, I give you the answer to your problems and at the same time maybe even tell you what your car needs. The big difference between me and the Car Talk boys is you don't get to hear my maniacal laughter while I look up the answers on the Net.

Amazingly we have a question to start us off.

Q: Sam from Alabama. My Ford Explorer (1999) fails to start occasionally. I have replaced the battery, breaking the cable when I did, and I am still having the problem. (At this point, I am supposed to ask the color of the car, but since I don't have a clue why, I'll skip that part). I replaced the broken cable so that is not the problem. The voltmeter seems to be working, it seems to be charging properly and I have not had any problems with my lights. The engine turns over good but the engine just won't start. Sometimes it starts just as I release the key to start over.

A: Boy, this is harder than it sounds. Okay here goes. It sounds as if you have either a faulty ignition controller or a starter that is drawing a little too much current and keeping the ignition system from fully activating. My brother Bubba says to get the starter checked since that is cheaper than a new ignition controller.

Todays Philosophy: What on earth are you doing reading another blog, get a life.

Leave your questions in the comments section. Please leave some questions. I don't want to have to answer questions about the wrecks the Emporium guys drive.